What did I find

        Five days on Lopez island.... I feel slower, stretched out in a comfortable way. Even the clocks in the house where we stayed were all an hour late, and time seemed to slow down to oblige us all. Morning fog, quenched by a hot sun bringing the fish and bugs alive, followed by twilight's soft cloak and a stirring moon.
        The last day of our stay, I kayaked along the rough-rocked shore, encountering jellyfish, starfish, kingfishers and the occasional human. At one point, I saw a distant slick head appear, look about and then slide beneath the surface: funny how seals are so sweet-looking until they could possibly come up underneath your small craft and capsize it. A small curve of beach appeared, and I pulled up along the rocks so I could drag the kayak further up; the waves and barnacles were not helping at that point, but I managed. Out of the top of my lifejacket, my book was protruding, reminding me that I had stowed it away intending to read it on some reclusive shore. I read probably three paragraphs, of course, before I was distracted from Finding God by the massive pile of slate rocks behind me. Somewhere inside of me I was inspired by an urge to start moving rocks, to look for the bottom of the pile and whatever lay down there, covered with moss and algae. I don't know what I was looking for, or even expected, but I began industriously throwing rocks left and right, pounding out a rhythm of slate knocking against slate, and the pile shrank. Then, it appeared: a giant rock with a wide flat bottom sitting like a slug, completely immovable and non-negotiable and quite depressing if you are trying to get beneath it. Sweaty and determined, I began shoveling out sediment and pebbles from under the front and removed several small, burgundy crabs from their impending doom. At last I gave a great heave at the rock and probably a hernia to my midsection, but it began moving: like a limpet from its suction hold, it was pried from its home and I saw beneath it.... nothing. I kept digging with a sharp piece of slate, through pebbles, muck and dead crab shells, and as I hit the hard rock of the island itself I realized that I had found strength, something that cannot be given or bought, but fought for and achieved. My perseverance had paid off, and it isn't something I can explain to anyone but something inside which is different from before.