Another Thing I Can't Understand

Here's another one:

Why I Give Myself Way Too Much Credit

It's almost laughable how I go out of my way just to make myself seem more justified or cooler--I remember a long time ago whenever my mom told me I had done something stupid or wrong (and she was always right) I would refuse to accept her judgment. Against all reason, I would begin to remind her of all the ways SHE had messed up (oh yeah, well, remember when you didn't give me that piece of cake you promised to give me?) and would compile a literal list of things that supposedly proved my rotten attitude was actually pretty angelic in comparison. This would be followed my mother's reasonable reply of, "Well, that has nothing to do with you." And then I would argue some other crafty little tactic into my case, which would prove nothing but would distract from the fact that I had been a little snot. This could go on all day, actually, and was one of my most consuming past-times, and still is, just in different ways (I hope).

In fact, whenever I find myself trying to explain how cool I am, I feel compelled to write something like this, which ends up being an attempt to justify my self-justification, and then whoops... there I go again. Sometimes I wonder if our preoccupations with making up for or covering up things we struggle with are just leading us in crippled circles and miring us in the past; maybe I need to move on.

People don't care about your coolness or perfectness; they care about what your doing and who you are right now. And since no one is really the exact definition of "cool" and "perfect" and still likeable (although Batman almost pulled it off), just be yourself, and care about others--which means, Hannah, that you don't need to write silly blog posts and torture people with your lame past. I thought you learned something when you had to suffer through that agonizingly tedious memoir.